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Deadwood quotes total quotes View Quote. Al Swearengen : Dan, don't you agree that the truth, if only a pinch, must season every falsehood, or the palate fucking rebels? And mustn't the novice chef be mindful not to ladle out his concoction by the unseasoned fucking ton, lest before he perfect his art, he lose his clientele?
View Quote. Al Swearengen : Don't you think I don't understand. I mean, what can anyone of us ever really fuckin' hope for, huh? Except for a moment here and there with a person who doesn't want to rob, steal or murder us? At night, it may happen. Sun-up, one person against the fuckin' wall, the other may hop on the fuckin' bed trusting each other enough to tell half the fucking truth. Everybody needs that. Becomes precious to 'em. They don't want to see it fucked with.
Sol : I won't pay. No home visits. Do your visiting on the premises, five. Al Swearengen : Every fuckin' beatin' I'm grateful for. Every fuckin' one of them. Get all the trust beat outta you. And you know what the fuckin' world is. Al Swearengen : Every rumor you floated in your article, Merrick, I believe is a living possibility for this camp, and I want you to fucking hear that as a compliment. Merrick : If so, it's the first from your lips.
Al Swearengen : Because all them possibilities, called next to accomplished fact, in one fucking outgush makes people smell a rat. Merrick : Yes, I suppose so. Al Swearengen : These interests coming after us, Merrick, they're fucking rough. They're going after our nuts. They're hypocrite cocksuckers, and the fucking lying tactics and instruments they use to fuck people up the ass can be turned against them.
Merrick : My newspaper being such an instrument.
Al Swearengen : But scale, amount, proportion, seasoning. Drink that fucking second shot, Merrick! Merrick : I like my fucking liquor. Al Swearengen : A trait in you that gave me early hope. Al Swearengen : Her husband came here with childish ideas. Bought himself a gold claim with me an honest broker. Claim pinches out, which will happen. But he can't take that like a man, has to blame somebody. Seller's left camp, so he picks on me.
Says he'll bring in the Pinkertons if I don't offer restitution. I got a healthy operation and I didn't build it brooding on the right, and wrong of things. I do not need the Pinkertons descending like locusts. So I bend over for the tenderfoot cocksucker. Reconnoiter your claim fully, I say. And then, if you're still unhappy, I will give you your fucking money back. And the tenderfoot agrees. Just as he's finishing his reconnoiter, cocksucker falls to his death, pure fucking accident.
But up jumps the widow in righteous fucking indignation. Wants the doctor to examine him for murder wounds. My visions of locusts return. I see Pinkertons coming in swarms. Al Swearengen : I did not shame myself. I keep an open mind in that area. Kid yourself about your behaviour, you'll never learn a fuckin' thing.
I knew it was comin' too. Fuckin' Captain, holdin' me down. I knew what the fuck was next. Dolly : When he chopped off your finger? Al Swearengen : He didn't chop off my finger! Hearst chopped my fuckin' finger off; the other fuck held me down! They hold you down, y-you can't get at 'em to help yourself. Fuckin' cold in here anyway, isn't it? Dolly : You want a blanket? Al Swearengen : If I do I'll put it round me, you ain't boss of the fuckin' bedclothes! They hold you down from behind.
Then you wonder why you're helpless. How the fuck could you not be? Dolly : I don't like it either. Al Swearengen : Another one that held me down, that fuckin' Proctor when I tried to get to that ship. He fuckin' held me, fuckin' wouldn't let me go.
Fuckin' in my mind, y'see, she was being restrained, couldn't get back off, that had got on the boat to fuckin' New Orleans to go suck prick in Georgia. She changed her mind, and I was bein' restrained by that fat, bastard orphanage Proctor! Anyway, that's it, that's the end of it, that's the fuckin' conclusion But I was bein' restrained.
I couldn't get from where she'd left me. He held me to that bed, her callin' from the ship that had changed her mind. Dolly [quietly] : I don't like it either. Al Swearengen : No, huh? Dolly : When they hold you down. Al Swearengen : I guess I do that, huh, with your fuckin' hair? Dolly : No Al Swearengen : No? Well, bless you for a fuckin' fibber. Al Swearengen : I need your truthful reply. Lie, I will know it, and death will be no respite. Farnum : I told Hearst nothing of Bullock and the Widow.
Al Swearengen : I will profane your fucking remains, E. Farnum : Not my remains, Al. Al Swearengen : Gabriel's Trumpet will produce you from the ass of a pig. Farnum : You told me not to tell him, and I didn't. Al Swearengen : I believe you.
Farnum : My pain is such that gives me no solace. Al Swearengen : Well try not to blame Bullock for presuming it was you considering your fucking history.
Anyways, tonight's speeches are fucking canceled. Nurse your fucking wounds. Farnum : Thank you. Al Swearengen : I do not mean here.Want to fuck Deadwood
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