Added: Unique Wadlington - Date: 23.11.2021 06:21 - Views: 39676 - Clicks: 8744
To be blunt: yes, if you have inquired and someone indicates that they do not have a romantic interest in you, you should probably respect that decision. Not to say this is easy! Giving up on someone you like can be difficult, as you try to control your own emotions while remembering that it is not okay to pressure or harass someone.
That's okay. She has the right to make that decision. It's probably not just you. She might have a dozen reasons, such as she's not interested in a relationship right now, she's not attracted to people of your gender, she's focusing on her career or education, or she has friendlier feelings for you, etc.
Or maybe it is you. But that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Maybe she values you as a friend. Maybe she doesn't want to date people that she goes to school or work with. You never know until you ask. If you are already friends, she might like your personality and give you an honest answer. You may also consider asking yourself why you are considering pursuing her in the first place. One of the many reasons behind this may be psychological tensionthat can lead to you feeling the need to pursue someone who is not interested in you romantically. Take a deep breath!
The good news is that it's not the end of the world. However, that perspective that giving up is the same as losing, is not necessarily correct. It's also what decent people typically do, or at least try to do when they realize that their desires are not reciprocated. A friend, or really any other human being, deserves your respect and understanding.
You should respect her as a person, but even if you are upset or angry, try looking inward at why you are feeling these emotions instead of projecting them onto the other person. Everyone gets to choose who they don't want to date. If she doesn't want to date you, you need to respect that. That brings us to reason two: she's your friend. You probably learned a long time ago that sometimes we need to compromise to keep our friends. If you like her, be glad that she still wants to be friends, and remember that she probably won't want to be friends if you keep pursuing a romantic relationship with her against her wishes.
Reason three is also about your benefit. If you're ready for a relationship and she's not interested, you're more likely to find someone who is if you stop trying to date her. It is definitely not easy to be rejected, but ultimately you are also avoiding more distress for your own self by respecting her wishes from the get-go. Opening your mind to finding people who are interested will probably speed things along for you. Going after her is probably just preventing you from forming meaningful relationships with other people.
There is a chance that she might change her mind, but it does not mean you should keep pursuing her until she does, or give up on other opportunities for meaningful connection just because you are waiting for a that may never come. If she changes her mind and you are also still interested in dating her, then that would be great, but you cannot rely on that and can hurt yourself by refusing to move forward with your life.
You should be open to the idea of other relationships. This is one way to test your friendship. If you can stay friends, you'll be able to maintain healthy relationships with other people while still being friends with her. As mentioned above, she's probably avoiding a relationship to focus on herself. It probably wouldn't hurt you to do the same. That doesn't mean that you have to commit to staying out of relationships, it just means that maybe you're putting too much emphasis on finding one. A lot of people are interested in romantic relationships for support.
However, this support can come from non-romantic relationships too. Creating more meaningful relationships in your life won't only satisfy some of the emotional needs that you might associate with romantic relationships, it could also make you better at romantic relationships once you find one.
As we've mentioned, giving up on trying to date your friend doesn't mean that you need to give up on dating. After all, looking for a new partner can be a fun and exciting experience. Just consider looking in new places, maybe with people that you don't already know.
And remember, if you need a romantic relationship to be happy, you may need to spend time learning to be happy with yourself. You shouldn't jump to the conclusion that if she doesn't date you, you shouldn't be friends. However, if you decide that your feelings for her are so strong that you can't be her friend while respecting her wishes, distancing yourself might be the right thing to do. Further, you may find that maintaining your friendship with her makes it difficult for you to have meaningful relationships with other people and that's not good for anyone.
If you do decide to stop being her friend, it can be important to explain why you feel like it's necessary. If she can be strong enough to tell you that she can't date you, she should be strong enough to hear that you can't be her friend, especially if your reasons for not being friends are noble and honest.
To be clear, just because your friend didn't want to date you doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. However, as mentioned above, if you feel a strong need for a relationship, it could be a that you need emotional guidance that you aren't already getting, and a therapist may be able to offer that support. You're probably thinking, "I can't go to a relationship therapist, I'm not in a relationship, remember?
However, remember that you don't need to have a mental illness to see a therapist, so you don't need to have a partner to see a couples' counselor. Just like talking to a therapist can still help basically anyone become a happier and healthier person, talking to a relationship counselor without being in a relationship can help you to understand what you want from a relationship and how to start on the path to building a strong and healthy relationship with someone right for you.
Further, not having been in a relationship with your friend doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to have thoughts or feelings that a relationship counselor may be able to help you work through. If you're interested in talking to a therapist, talk to your regular care provider. They may be able to help you find therapists and resources in your community or a referral that will help your insurance pay for your therapy.
If you're interested in relationship counseling, your doctor might not be able to help you. However, picking up the phonebook or making a quick web search can help you find couples counselors near you. Depending on where you live, you might not have easy access to a relationship counselor. Or, you may not want to receive relationship counseling from someone that you're likely to just run into.
There is an alternative to talking to a relationship counselor one-on-one, and that's talking to a relationship counselor over the Internet. Talking to a relationship counselor virtually is often more private, convenient, and affordable than seeing a relationship counselor in person. For more information about how meeting with an online relationship counselor can help you, visit ReGain.
The takeaway from this article is that the best thing to do is to respect your friend's wishes and stop trying to pursue a romantic relationship with her if that isn't what she wants. This doesn't mean that your emotional needs have to be ignored. You are allowed to have feelings for your friend and about this situation, but there are healthier and more productive ways for you to deal with those feelings than pursuing her.
By: Jon Jaehnig Updated October 15, Medically Reviewed By: Robin Brock To be blunt: yes, if you have inquired and someone indicates that they do not have a romantic interest in you, you should probably respect that decision. Read on about how to go about it and what to do next. Source: pexels.
What it means is that, for her sake and yours, you should give up trying to date her. Why Me? It's What She Wants This has to be reason one. That's why we've already said it - a couple of times. She's Your Friend That brings us to reason two: she's your friend. It's Good For You Reason three is also about your benefit. Source: rawpixel.
If you give up temporarily in the hopes that she'll come around, you haven't given up. What To Do Remember to care for your own emotional needs and mental health.
Here are some ways that you can make sure that your needs are being met. Focus On Yourself As mentioned above, she's probably avoiding a relationship to focus on herself. Spend Time With Friends A lot of people are interested in romantic relationships for support. Keep Looking As we've mentioned, giving up on trying to date your friend doesn't mean that you need to give up on dating. Break It Off You shouldn't jump to the conclusion that if she doesn't date you, you shouldn't be friends.
Talk To A Therapist To be clear, just because your friend didn't want to date you doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. Talk To A Relationship Therapist You're probably thinking, "I can't go to a relationship therapist, I'm not in a relationship, remember? Finding Support If you're interested in talking to a therapist, talk to your regular care provider.
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